Forgiveness Myths vs Truths. What’s wrong with forgiveness.

Forgiveness Myths vs Truths. Have you heard the 25 Myths on forgiveness ? What’s wrong with forgiveness.

SOURCE and MORE CONTENT AT LINK BELOW.

https://whatswrongwithforgiveness.wordpress.com/

Why Jesus never said to forgive your enemy and why the whole world thinks He did!

by James Scott Berry

1.      Myth:  Holding on to “unforgiveness” in your heart will make you angry and bitter.

Truth:  Holding on to unforgiveness in your heart can NEVER make you angry or bitter because you are already bitter from the moment you get hurt and do not rely on God’s grace.  Unforgiveness cannot and does not ever lead you there.  You are ALREADY there.  It is always the opposite.  Bitterness makes you unwilling to forgive. (Hebrews 12:15)

2.      Myth:  Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for your offender because “Forgiveness” is defined as:  releasing oneself (letting go) of anger or revenge

Truth:  Forgiveness is NEVER for you and, biblically, it NEVER means “letting go of anger and bitterness.”  If it did, then we could unbiblically separate forgiveness and reconciliation, which many do.

3.      Myth:  To forgive means to let go of a grudge or let go of anger and bitterness

Truth:  To forgive means to lift off, remove, send away, leave behind, forsake, put away, or “divorce” the sin and guilt from the person (as in removing chains or handcuffs from them, not from ourselves.) In certain non-egregious circumstances (Colossians 3 and Ephesians 4), it means to overlook the sin without the necessity of repentance, not to overlook the person.

4.      Myth:  We can aphiemi/forgive someone whether they want forgiveness or not

Truth:  Neither God nor we can remove the chains of sin of someone who loves their sin or denies that they are chained and guilty of sin.

5.      Myth:  Forgiveness is the conduit through which we release anger and bitterness.

Truth:  Meekness (trust and mourning to God) is the conduit through which we release anger and bitterness.  (Matthew 11:29)

6.      Myth: You must forgive all offenders 70 x 7 (Matthew 18:22).

Truth:  Jesus always commanded that we forgive ONLY repentant offenders who have done teshuva.

7.      Myth:  If you do not forgive all offenders, God will not forgive you.

Truth:  This is a lie and stupid concept.  God Himself does not forgive all offenders.  He only forgives those enemies who come to Him in repentance, acknowledging sin, and begging for removal of sin. 

8.      Myth: Forgiveness does not mean that an offender is no longer guilty, accountable, or that we must be reconciled. 

Truth:  Yes it does.  These things are exactly what Biblical forgiveness DOES mean.

9.      Myth:  Forgiveness and reconciliation are separable concepts.

Truth:  God never separates forgiveness and reconciliation.  He is always

reconciled with the person whose sin He forgives.  Biblical forgiveness always results in some degree of reconciliation.

10.  Myth:  It is never wrong to forgive.  Forgiveness should never be considered a sin.

Truth:  Disobedience to God’s clear command is always a sin.  Jesus never says to first forgive an unrepentant brother of his sin but to:

A.    First rebuke him

B.     Treat him “like a heathen” if he remains unrepentant,

If we skip or fail to do either, we are unloving and sinning against Jesus’ command.  Paul says to put some out of the church, not to forgive!

11.  Myth: Jesus forgave His enemies on the Cross.

Truth:  Jesus prayed for His enemies not because He was forgiving them, but because He could not invite them to Paradise nor forgive their unconfessed sin.

Jesus offered forgiveness of sin to one thief and He invited him to Paradise.  But Jesus did not request forgiveness for him.

Jesus requested forgivenessof sin of His father for the Roman Soldiers, but Jesus did not offer forgiveness to them; He did not speak to them, He did not invite them to Paradise, He did not reconcile with them, He did not save them nor justify them. He prayed for the soldiers because, as He taught,“No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him:  John 6:44

12.  Myth: You must forgive everyone because you do not know what is in theirhearts

Truth:  True remorse is easy to see and impossible to hide.

13.  Myth:  If you are angry and bitter it means that you are unforgiving.

Truth:  No it does not.  It means that you do not believe God allowed your offender to hurt you.  You are not trusting God, mourning to God, being meek, and loving your enemy. (Hebrews 12:15)

14.  Myth : Paul teaches to forgive the same way Jesus teaches to forgive

Truth:  The word Paul uses (Charizomai) for “forgive” and the word Jesus most often uses for “forgive” (Aphiemi) have two different meanings and CANNOT be interchanged.

15.  Myth: The Lord’s Prayer: If we do not forgive all those who trespass against us, God will not forgive us!

Truth:  God forgives only the sin of those trespassers who admit they are in debt and beg for release of their debt, just as He commands us to do.  The world is full of billions of trespassers whose sins God does not forgive.

16.  Myth: God always forgives people, so we must always forgive people

Truth:  God never forgives anyone.  He never forgives people, He only forgives sin from people.  (He forgives people OF THEIR SIN.)  Throughout the Bible, the direct object of God’s forgiveness is never a person, but is always the sin of the person.

17.  Myth: God commands us to not be hateful or not hold a grudge by forgiving our offenders.

Truth:  God commands us to not be hateful or not hold a grudge by rebuking and loving our offender, and trusting Him, never by forgiving an unrepentant offender. (Leviticus 19:17-19)

18.  Myth: Forgiveness means we should be at peace and move on

Truth:  Never.  Forgiveness only means to remove or send away the guilt and sorrow of sin from the offender who is begging and to be reconciled with them.

19.  Myth:  Forgiveness means we should not desire vengeance.

Truth:  We should desire God’s justice and vengeance, not our own.  We should also pray that God’s mercy and forgiveness would come to those enemies to whom He has promised His vengeance.  To not desire God’s retribution and justice on the rapist, murderers, pedophiles, torturers, etc., is to allow evil to continue to harm innocent people.  Love wants what is best.  Forgiveness is often not best for us or for others. (Romans 12:19)

20.  Myth: You will never be free from anger unless you forgive your offender.

Truth: We are freed from anger when we trust God is in control (it is He who allowed my offender to hurt me) and by mourning our hurt and loss to God.  This leads to meekness, which is being free form anger and bitterness because we have faith in God’s goodness and power.  Removal (forgiveness) is only for the sin of the offender when they want their sin removed (forgiven).

21.  Myth: We should always forgive our children as the Prodigal son was forgiven by his father.

Truth: The prodigal son was forgiven for one reason, he came home repentant.  Had the prodigal son come home arrogant, successful, with prostitutes and drug addicts in his entourage, his father would have never allowed him to set foot on his property.  (There are many times that we should charizomai (overlook) the smaller, non-egregious offenses of our children just as God does for us!)

22.  Myth: Joseph forgave his brothers.

Truth: Joseph was harsh on his brothers out of love and a desire to bring them to teshuva (repentance).  He put them in prison, accused them of being spies, bound Simon before their eyes, sent for Benjamin only and not his father, accused them of thievery, and waited many years before he actually brought them to acknowledgement of guilt.  He finally forgave their sin when he saw in them a desire to be free from their guilt.

23.  Myth: Jesus forgave the paralytic before he repented

Truth: Scripture makes it very obvious that Jesus discerned in the paralytic a very burdened and repentant heart, not someone who wanted to be healed so he could go sin some more.  (Matthew 9:2)  Discerning the hearts of the Pharisees, Jesus did not offer them forgiveness. (Mark 2:8)

24.  Myth: Stephen forgave those who stoned him

Truth: Stephen prayed for mercy on those stoning him because he knew and believed the vengeance and charges of God, not forgiveness, were coming on his persecutors.  He begged God for mercy on them.  For forgiveness to take place, there must be an interaction and a transaction between offended and offender.  Stephen did not even speak to his persecutors, let alone have any interaction or transaction with them.  He simply did what Jesus told all of us to do:  “Pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.”  Matthew 5:44

25.  Myth: Jesus forgave the woman caught in adultery before she repented

Truth: Most people believe this because they are unaware of the Jewish laws and culture of teshuva.

Chapter 2 The Purpose of Forgiveness

Myth        God forgives people, therefore we must also forgive people.

Truth:       God forgives sin, God does not forgive people.

God saves people, God does not save sin.

The Direct Object of Forgiveness

One day I came across an article on the internet discussing some issues of forgiveness. The author, Greek scholar Ardel Caneday, had expressed similar sentiment as my own about forgiveness.  I contacted him to ask his opinion about the Greek words concerning forgiveness.

What I learned in that conversation was something I had never heard in twenty-eight years of discussing forgiveness issues with scholars across the country.  “According to Bible,” Mr. Caneday explained, “God never ‘forgives’ anyone! He forgives sin, not people.  And we are command to do the same.”

“But,“ I asked him, “what about “Father forgive them,” or “Forgive one another as God in Christ Jesus hath forgive you,” or, if ye forgive men…”

Mr. Caneday explained that in every verse in the New Testament Greek where the word “forgive” is used with a personal pronoun, the direct object of forgiveness is never the person.  The direct object of forgiveness is always sin.  The person (personal pronoun) is always in the dative case, meaning that “people” are always the indirect object. and the sin is always the direct object.  While we are certainly affected by God’s forgiveness of our sin (being saved and set free) it is our sin that is forgiven (removed or sent away), not us directly.

On the surface, this may seem like just a matter of semantics.  But it is one of the most insidious deceptions to plague Christianity.   Because of the English translation of the Greek phrases, we have believed that forgiveness is an act done directly to a person or an action done to and for us and for our benefit.

The purpose of forgiveness is never to remove, send away, or lift away people.  Nor is the purpose of forgiveness to remove, send away, or lift away our anger and bitterness from our heart. The purpose of forgiveness is to remove, send away, or lift away the sin and burden of debt from a person who wants to be free and reconciled:  free from the debt and reconciled to us.

The concept that forgiveness is for us to “not hold onto anger and bitterness” is perhaps the hardest for us to overcome.  We believe that we are forgiving “people” because we think that the attitude of humility and love and freedom from hate and resentment must come from forgiveness.  It simply is not true.

We have also believed that Jesus prayed “Father forgive them,” that Paul said to “forgive one another as God in Christ hath forgiven you,” and that Jesus said “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,” etc.

The problem is that the Bible does say exactly those things in English.  Unfortunately, that is not what the original Greek text is saying.  The Greek language, with its dative case endings, shows us that God and we are to forgive sin, not sinners.  In addition, as you will continue to see throughout the Bible, “forgiving” a person does not even make logical sense.

Applying Forgiveness:  The Object Lesson

In Greek, even if the direct object, sin, is not mentioned, it is understood.  Similarly, we might say:

Mike catches the ball with his glove.

or

Mike catches with his glove.

The Greek language of the New Testament always uses this concept when speaking of forgiveness.  The confusion is that Greek uses no preposition (i.e., with) to indicate the dative case when the direct object is dropped.

God forgives/removes your sin from you.  God forgives/removes (from) you (your sin).

This truth becomes clearer when we use the correct definitions of the verbs for forgive:to lift off, up, or away, to send away, to cover, etc.  These are action verbs that can only be for sin, not for people.

Aphiemi also means Divorce!

Aside from “lift away” or “let off” (remove) or “send away,” the verb aphiemi also means to divorce, leave, forsake, abandon, and neglect.   While these words seem strange to our ears in connection to forgiveness, it is not the Greek language, but our interpretation and teaching that have been so strange.

No one in the New Testament prays “God forgive me!”  It actually makes much more sense to realize that God never forgives us but our sin.  For example:

• God does not cast us into the sea, God casts our sin into the sea.
• God does not divorce us, God divorces our sin from us.
• God does not cover us, He covers our sin (He atones for our sin)
• God does not take us off, He takes our sin off of us.
• God does not send us away, He sends our sin away from us.
• God does not remove us, He removes our sin from us.
• God does not overlook us, He overlooks our sin.
• God does not forsake us, He forsakes our sin. 
• God does not forgive us, He forgives our sin. 
• We are not forgiven, we are saved. 
• Our sins are not saved, they are sent away; our sins are forgiven!

We are not forgiven (taken off, sent away), but we are freed and released (saved) by having our sins taken off and sent away from us.  In like manner, we are never actually forgiving people, we are forgiving the sin, guilt, and accountability of people.

Churches throughout the world consistently teach that we can forgive a person whether or not they want their sins forgiven.  But if the object of forgiveness is to remove the sin itself, then how can we remove/forgive the sin if they do not want it removed?  We have a problem if they do not want us to “take off” their sin from them.  If they will not admit that they have any sin, then we cannot remove it from them. If someone is not burdened and tormented by sin and guilt, it is impossible to forgive, send away, or relieve them of any torment or guilt!

How to Get Rid of the Gorilla of Bitterness Without Forgiveness

How to get rid of the gorilla of Bitterness Without Forgiveness:  Trusting, Mourning, and Yielding

A.     Identify the real struggle: Where does bitterness come from?

1.   My struggle is not really with the person and their offense to me.

2.   My struggle is accepting that God has allowed the evil to come into my life.

3.   My struggle is to believe that God can use my offender and the offense to mold me into the loving and powerful character of Christ.

4.    My struggle is to get rid of the gorilla of bitterness so that he does not shatter my faith or destroy my relationship to God.

5.    My struggle is to believe that God will repay my offender as He promises (Romans 12:19), then to beg Him for mercy on my offender (Matthew 5:44) and to LOVE my enemy.!

B.     Respond to the Grace of God. 

The gorilla of bitterness springs upon us and holds us captive when we fail to respond to God’s  grace – the power He gives us to believe and obey him.

        See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15

1.   Bitterness does not come from failing to respond correctly to our enemy but from failing to respond humbly and meekly to the grace of God.

          a.   When we respond correctly to God’s grace with faith

          b.   THEN we WILL respond correctly with love toward our offender unrepentant offender and with forgiveness (removal of sin and guilt) to our repentant offender.

      2.   We never get rid of the gorilla of anger and bitterness by forgiving first (removing handcuffs, debt, and burden of sin or overlooking and offence), but by:

            a.   Trusting God

              b.   Mourning to God (Crying out to God)

              c.    Yielding to God (Meekness)

              d.    Loving our offender

 C.    Define your actions:  To define “unforgiveness” as “not releasing anger, or “not letting go of bitterness,” or “holding a grudge” is stupid.  It is the same as saying:

1.    Not releasing anger will make you angry

2.    Not letting go of bitterness will make you bitter

3.Holding a grudge will make you hold grudges.

These are  nonsensical definitions! 

Truth:

1.      Not trusting God will make you angry!

2.      Not mourning to God will make you bitter!

3.Not rejoicing in God and not believing that He allowed the evil and offense in my life and that He can use it to mold me into the character of Christ will leave you  hopelessly floundering in your relationship to     God and others.

4.     Not being filled with and exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit  (love, meekness, forbearance, etc) will make you hold a grudge! (Galatians 5:22-23)

Forgiveness, like rebuke, is not a fruit of the spirit.  But both are needed only at specific times as a result of love and meekness. 

A Ridiculous Concept:

• I am angry, vehement, hateful, murderous.   I have a gorilla of bitterness on my back.
• If I see the person, I will kill him.
• I am still violently bitter, but as I approach to kill him with a knife in one hand, I also carry a gift in the other – the key of forgiveness.
• As I get closer, the big gorilla on my back holds one wrist and tries to make me stab my offender. The gorilla also holds the other wrist, pulling it back so that I cannot use the key of forgiveness to unlock my offenders chains.
• I don’t want to obey God, I don’t believe God, I don’t believe His Word, I don’t trust Him to work this out for my good.  Though I am still very angry, rather than using the knife, I struggle against the gorilla of bitterness and reach out with the key of forgiveness and unlock my offenders handcuffs of sin.
• Suddenly, the gorilla of bitterness jumps off, I drop the knife and I am not bitter any more.

Even in this unrealistic story of having a gorilla on your back, it would be even more ridiculous to suggest, as we do, that you get rid of the Gorilla by removing someone’s handcuffs or by “forgiving for my own benefit!”

Does the Gorilla leave because you struggle to work your way over to your offender to give a gift?  Does your interaction with the other person even have anything to do with getting rid of the gorilla?

God’s forgiveness, and his command that we forgive as He does, always requires an interaction and a transaction.  There is no such thing as forgiving for ones-self  or bitterness-releasing forgiveness in the Kingdom of God.  That is mans, and Satan’s, made up, confusing, and unbiblical concept.

 A Correct Concept:

We don’t get rid of the Gorilla of Bitterness by giving something to our unrepentant offender, but by:

The short version: simply turning to God, trusting God, and obeying God in meekness and love.

The long version:

• I decide that I am tired of bitterness controlling me.
• I decide to let go of my pride, my arrogance, my lack of faith, my distrust, and my disobedience.
• I decide that, while I may hate the evil that God allowed to happen, I will mourn to God trust God to work His good and eternal purpose in my life.
• Therefore, I will hope in Him and rejoice even in the midst of my sorrow.  I will obey Him. I will live in the bigger picture of life.  (Though he slay me, yet I will trust Him….Job 13:15)
• Mourning to God, trusting Him and becoming meek, I am then willing to put off anger and believe God who promises to be angry and vengeful on my behalf. (Romans 12:19)
• Therefore, I decide I had better be like Jesus on the cross and love and pray for my enemies because I believe that the wrath of God is sure.
• I can offer my offender a gift of freedom from his sorrow and guilt if he if he truly exhibits sorrow and guilt. (The actual transaction is forgiveness, not the offer of a transaction).
• My anger and bitterness is removed not because I first offer or give the gift, but because I first yield to God.
• If my offender does not want to be free (forgiven) of his chains, I can still remain full of love even though I cannot forgive (remove) his chains of guilt and sin from him.

Jesus never said we should not have enemies.  He said we WILL have enemies and offenders.   If you forgive your enemy or offender, then you have no enemy or offender for you have removed and wiped away all offenses and reasons for being your enemy.  They exist no longer, at least by God’s definition and examples.  We should train to ATTACK  our enemy with the weapons Jesus gives us:  Love, do good, bless, pray for, turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, etc!!!

SOURCE/MORE CONTENT AT LINK BELOW.

https://whatswrongwithforgiveness.wordpress.com/

Have you heard the 25 Myths on forgiveness ? What’s wrong with forgiveness.

Forgiveness Myths vs Truths. Truth makes free.